As of today, all my good friends already know the existence of this blog and frankly, it feels a bit weird. I have been hiding this for the longest time possible but I guess at some point, they will have to know about this shitty blog anyway. At least I would not seeing them any time soon so I still have time to hide and get over the embarassment I am feeling right now.
The thing about blogging is that while I am fully aware that the content of this blog is for the world to see, when I know that people I personally know read everything in here, I feel as if they are looking at me bare and naked: stripped of all layers of walls and distances that I build up from people around me, exposed to their criticism and judgment.
It scares me, really. Because in this blog I have been nothing less than honest and I have written about so many things I would normally keep hidden and unsaid during conversations – even after few bottles of beer. It is like exposing a different version of myself, the one which my good friends may dislike or hate and the one I feel uneasy exposing – and the last thing I want is for people who I hold dear to realize through this blog that they do not wish to be friends with the kind of Tanya in this blog. It becomes a different story altogether when it comes to acceptance or opinion of people who matter to me.
I guess the upside to this is that I no longer have anything to hide from them, right? Therefore, my friends who will keep up with my bullshit after seeing all the drama that this blog hold are indeed people to keep. Ganun nalang.
P.S. shoutout to John who mentioned that I only talked of him once and referred to him as the generic ‘friend‘. You dear will get your cheesy birthday greeting whether you like it or not, don’t worry. I just need to earn a photo with you na wala tayo ni isa, oddly.