Funny how your memory starts to play tricks on you after some time apart.
You remember hating how he treated you before, how he took away his hands everytime you wanted to feel his warmth, how he pushed you on the side of the road when he got annoyed, how he changed from being the guy who wrote poems for you to the guy who would not even look at you when he plays his stupid games unless he needs something.
Some time apart and all of a sudden he sends you lengthy messages of how much he misses you, how he is willing to wait and change to make things work, how supportive he is about you chasing after your goals; some time apart and all of a sudden he volunteers to make notes for your subjects, ask you out for a movie on a proper date and offers to take you home to make sure you are safe.
You know what terrifies me the most? It’s how you are starting to fall for the same tricks over again as if you haven’t had enough.
Honey, how many times will you have to check whether he has changed for good? How many times will you let him come back to your life only to mess it up once the fire sets low and you two are back at being this stagnant, dreary lovebirds?
Let me tell you this: the moment you begin to question whether it was your fault why he mistreated you before or if it was your fault why you two never worked out your differences, is the moment you fall back into the same cycle you already have long gotten out of. Sure you may not be the perfect girlfriend and you had your fair share of madness but that does not mean that you should settle and accept things that deep in your heart you know you hate.
Stop regretting the decisions you made for yourself just because you miss feeling something. Stop doubting the sets of facts because in this world full of relativists, the only absolute truth you need to get hold of is that you deserve to be treated better and there is no excuse for the mistakes he did.
Maybe he loves you, maybe he did change, but are you willing to risk it all again for that slim chance? You are fine now, remember that.